Love Roulette
by FlightlessBird1122
Summary: Clare knew since day one that this wasn't the same Eli she dated. There was something very wrong with him, something that no amount of anxiety meds could cure, but when Clare is forced into the play both of them know that its only a matter of time...


Love Roulette

**A/N- So i've been watching this season of degrassi and so far, to tell the truth, I'm pretty bored. All i have to work with is the eClare plotline. (And maybe a little Owen/Anya hehe) Eli is just crazy now and I blame Imogen' at your service' Moreno for that... stalker._. And if I can no longer blame Clare for breaking up with him. Anyway! i'm writing this, which loosely follows the show before breaking off, because I'm tired of reading everone else's stories:)**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Love Roulette<em>**

"How could I be so _stupid_!"

Clare said loudly, her forehead immediately falling into her awaiting hands. He was on medication. She wasn't sure if she was happy or angry about that. So many emotions were swirling in her chest and Clare felt like laughing and dancing and screaming in frustration all at the same time.

She had been _so _close too.

So close to letting Elijah Goldsworthy go. Clare was obviously the only one hanging on, if screaming at him in front of all of Above the Dot's occupants while he just ignored her didn't verify that. If he had just said that he was over her, that he had moved on, she could have too. She could put on a brave face and never bother him again.

But he didn't. He _didn't _say he was over her. He _didn't_ deny any of her claims or confirm them. All he said was that he couldn't have responded if he wanted to. He was on anti-anxiety medication that put him in a place where he didn't scream at people or hoard things or crash hearses or even shoot pictures of his dead ex-girlfriend and Clare resented him for it. He was escaping from reality while she was forced to relive it everyday.

Now, she was left with this... this _tingle._A really small hope in the pit of her stomach. Maybe he still loves her like she still loves him. Maybe they still had a chance for when he was better. Maybe, maybe, maybe... How would he have reacted towards her shouting if he weren't on meds? She'd never know, but the curiosity was killing her.

"Ughhh!" Clare seethed, hitting her head against the desk again. The other students in her Chemistry class were beginning to stare at her, but she couldn't find it in herself to care. Slowly all of their heads turned back to their experiments, and Clare sighed as Alli began to stir the boric acid into the rubbing alcohol.

"If you still like him so much then why did you break up with him?" Alli asked as Clare handed her the lighter for the final step of the lab.

"Because he was unstable. He _still is_unstable! I bet that without his medication he'd be losing his mind about now. I love him but he was relying on me to be his saving grace. I couldn't give him that kind of false hope. He needs professional help before he can handle any sort of relationship Alli." she nodded in assent.

"True but obviously he doesn't think so Clare. I've seen him around and it seems like every time he spots you he takes another pill. I counted a few days ago and he had to have taken _at least_four or five and that was only when I caught him." Alli stopped talking for a moment, taking the time to light the mix of chemicals within our flask with the lighter. It immediately caught on fire, the changing hues washing over their goggle-clad faces.

"Plus, I keep on seeing this girl. Not just recently either. I remember seeing her leave the dance after lockdown was called on Vegas Night and then on the night Eli crashed she was staring at you as you called him. Now I see her around Eli all the time. I think she's stalking you guys Clare. Just...watch your back okay?" Clare nodded stiffly, hoping beyond hope that her best friend was overreacting.

Instead of contemplating that thought she just stared into the rainbow of the small blaze they had created. It flashed green and then faded into blue before being washed out entirely by orange. Then it started again.

If only it were that easy.

The bell rang, waking her up from her trance. Vaguely, Clare heard her Chemistry teacher speaking, most likely announcing their homework, but she'd just ask Alli later because she was too nervous to think right now. Her next class was English. As in A.P English with Mrs. Dawes. The class where she was partners with Eli. It never ceased to make her heart race. "I'll keep it in mind Alli. See you after school right? The Dot at four?" She nodded enthusiastically before giving Clare a tight squeeze.

"Bye Clare! See you at four. Oh! And good luck with that project with Eli!" she said, prancing down the hall towards her last class of the day: Art. Damn her. She would definitely need luck too. It had been a week since Eli had told her about his medication and they had barely been on speaking terms since. However, as the week's gone on she began to notice his demeanor change.

The first day he was really quiet, almost not there, and the second was the same. His writing was terribly bland and whenever the two were forced to talk it was short, sweet and to the point. On the third day though, Clare just knew that there was something different about him. Eli kept tapping his foot. He was constantly moving and as she proofread his story it was like a whole new person had written it compared to the rest of the semester.

It was scary.

She could tell what he was getting at as well. Every story was one of their...experiences but twisted. It was them except he made Clare seem like the crazy one. Like she had made him do everything he's done. So, she's been combating his lies with the truth. In her stories she told her version, the real version, of what happened. By the end of the class period he always seems like he is fighting with himself and Clare always seems beyond confused.

Today, however was special. They had to go home last night and take their most traumatic experiences and turn them into a play. Clare knew immediately what Eli would be writing it on based on his stories that week, so she decided to stick with her plan. She had written the true version of what had happened through their train wreck of a relationship.

There was something wrong in that head of his and as the week progressed Clare only became more resolute in her belief that anti-anxiety medication wasn't helping the problem. He needed help, which he made abundantly clear through his literature that he didn't want. Especially from her. Either way Clare took a deep, calming breath before walking into what used to be her favorite class of the day and sitting down in the chair directly behind Eli. He was doodling something like roulette on a piece of paper but she couldn't be sure since his arm was covering most of it from her angle.

Just as the bell chimed for class to begin Mrs. Dawes stood up, eager for class to begin. "As you all know, I am also the drama teacher at this school and am therefore responsible for putting on a play. However, our current playwright is having a writer's block of sorts." Clare noticed the tempo of Eli's fingers tapping against the scarred wood of his desk increase as the teacher glanced at him. "So your homework was to write a play or at least get down a plot summary and bring it here today for analyzing. Who knows? If yours is good enough we may just use it."

Clare cracked a smile at that. Last year's playwright had been _the_Declan Coyne, her personal idol and good friend. How amazing would it be to write one as well? She looked down at the typed draft of her play and plot overview. Her life was pretty crazy. Maybe just crazy enough to make a good play.

"Okay! Break off with your partners. I'll be coming around to collect them in a few minutes." The words went in one ear and out the other as she saw Eli's desk turn around. She bit her lip, resisting the urge to scoot her desk away from him. This _was not_ the Eli she dated. He had a crazed look in his eye and a scheming arch to his smirking face. His black painted nails, no longer just sharpie, were digging into the desk and leaving jagged trails since they couldn't keep still; he was shaking all over.

"Hey...Eli." I whispered, looking down. His smile widened.

"Clare, _oh Clare_! My muse and destroying angel! You know, I've got to _thank_ you! I've been in a slump, but once I confronted the _truth _it was _easy _to write the play. _**I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE CLARE!**_ You were the _worst thing_ that ever happened to me! I went through _hell_ for you and then you dumped me. I'm over it though! _You don't own me anymore!_ I have Imo now!" he seethed angrily, as if he were arguing with himself.

"You need help." Clare stated clearly, her eyes a bit wide.

"No. _I._ _**DON'T**_" he practically yelled. Luckily, the class was already discussing their own plays pretty loudly by now so only a few heads turned towards them.

"Look, Eli. This is why I broke up with you. Until you can accept and face your problems there is no way you can be in a healthy relationship. I loved you enough to let you go no matter what _bullshit_that Imo girl has been feeding you." Clare stated, eyes cold as ice. Rather than arguing further she shoved her homework at him and snatched his, which was sure to be a load of lies, from him.

He turned his attention to her paper, green irises scanning it attentively. Clare watched as his eyes lightened and darkened as he read, softening a bit despite his bristling attitude. After a few more seconds of staring at her ex, Clare decided to begin reading. _'LOVE ROULETTE'_ it was titled and the longer she read, the angrier she became. These weren't just lies. It was twisted and demonic. By the time she had finished reading the overview and skimming the lines, recognizing a lot of changed conversations and dialogue between Eli and her, Clare was thoroughly freaked out.

_'Manipulative lovers that are obsessed with religious freaks' Clare _read in disbelief. '_A phone call made telling the emotionally wounded lover to crash his car because she -no- __**nobody**__ would ever love him! A nosy girl who kept him from getting over his traumatic past?'_ How did he come up with this? How was it possible to twist a story _so far_that it became distorted and unrecognizable? And that wasn't even the scary part. It was that he believed it to be true. Every syllable of his work he believed was the absolute truth, somehow hidden from him. What. The. Hell.

"Eli! What the-" Clare started, rising from her seat.

"So how are you two doing over here?" Mrs. Dawes asked, taking in the partners' angry expressions. Ignoring the tense atmosphere, she took their papers and looked them over. By the end of the synopsis of both she was thoroughly confused yet... intrigued. "What exactly is this?" she asked unabashed.

Clare answered, wary of any input Eli may put in. "It's the past semester and a half from... each of our perspectives." She stated, leaving out the key details. "One the truth and the other being a demented and twisted version of what actually happened." The sophomore spat at Eli. Mint turned jade as his eyes tightened menacingly.

"Okay you two, no fighting in my classroom. Leave that for a class like... Home Economics. Nobody cares about that class. I'll just take your papers now before someone gets hurt, okay?" Their eccentric teacher said before walking off. "Oh, and Clare? Please meet me after class." She shouted over the noise of her classroom just as the bell for the end of the day decided to go off.

She packed up her stuff, practically shoving it in her new blue and gray tote bag. She had gotten sick of her green one and decided to buy a new one over Spring Break. Green was overrated anyway. As Clare slipped the straps on her shoulder she felt a piece of paper shove itself into her hand, but when she looked to see who did it all she found was Eli's broken form hobbling away.

Shaking her head, Clare slipped it into her pocket. That boy was just full of surprises. Slowly, the brunette walked up to the teacher's desk, a bit curious as to what the lady could want from her. "Ahh, Clare. You know that you and Eli were two of my favorite students this year?I also loved how both of you were okay separately but superb together. So, naturally I was sad to hear you broke up. However that isn't quite what I wanted to talk to you about." Mrs. Dawes said vaguely. Clare fidgeted, off-put by the talk of her and Eli's relationship. "Look, I read over Eli's play and yours and I want to make them both into the school play this year but that would require the both of you to cooperate with me. Meaning no fighting." she said blandly.

She couldn't think. Couldn't breathe. Eli and her..._together_? How in the world could their plays work mutually? They were completely opposite! Night and day! Black and white! Just like them, Eli and Clare, and look how _that_turned out.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea Mrs. Dawes. There's no way to combine both effectively. Plus, I don't have any free electives right now, so..." Clare rambled, scared at the thought of actually working with Eli for the rest of the semester.

"You have Photography, correct? I'll switch it to Drama for you so that you can start as soon as possible. Is that alright Clare? To tell the truth, I was going to recommend you for the newspaper staff but after the piece you turned in today, I believe you are more valuable to Drama." She said, already writing notes for the costumes and script of the play. Clare's mouth hung open, not quite sure if she had much of a choice at this point. Eli would be furious but she had wanted to work in drama this year but that had been _"Eli territory" _so sadly she had passed it up. This was her second chance to rise above what happened since she started dating Eli. She ran a hand through her short curls, mussing it a bit.

"Okay...I'll do it."

* * *

><p><strong>AN- Well, I had this planned out but the story decided to take a whole seperate route than me so...yeah. Let me know if I should update. Otherwise I'll leave it at this awkward "so not a one-shot" ending.**


End file.
